Planning A Second Wedding? Here’s Some Insight To Help You Along The Way
Getting married for the second time to the same person is special indeed. It means that a relationship has come a long way and has continued to grow and reach new heights. A second wedding or what is usually referred to as a vow renewal ceremony is the perfect way to create new memories and reestablish the core things a marriage represents.
How does someone go about doing this in a way that makes sense though? Clearly if an already married couple is renewing their vows, then they certainly wouldn’t need to go all out like they might have done the first time right? Well it’s going to depend on different factors that aren’t always obvious.
Look at the case of Samantha and her husband Tom. Samantha and her husband have been together for well over 20 years strong. When they first got married they didn’t have a lot of money in order to throw the bash they really wanted. Things had to be done super cheap. In fact a lot of the food was made by their parents and the wedding cake was also homemade.
So when this couple decided to renew their vows they wanted to go all out. This meant hiring professional help, having a nice big wedding cake and having their second wedding be at a venue they could host lots of people at. Samantha and Tom wanted a chance to do all the things they didn’t do in their first wedding, because seeing as how it was their 20 year anniversary they felt like it would only be right to celebrate it with a bang.
On the other side there might be a couple who had all the glitz and glamour the first time. This was the case with one couple, Sarah and Brad. The couple had gone all out the first time and had a super glamorous wedding on location. The reception was also grand. In fact the day had so many bells and whistles that by the end of it all the couple was quite drained and emotionally taxed.
10+ years later and this couple wanted to renew their vows, but they didn’t want to expand so much energy as they did before. They wanted a small intimate setting where they would only invite a few close friends and family. They wanted the reception to be at the same place the ceremony was going to take place in order to save money and they also were open to wearing clothes that were going to be a little less formal.
It isn’t so clear cut and dry for every couple that decides to have a vow renewal ceremony though. Sometimes one person might want things that the other person doesn’t. It could be that one person wants the big party and the other person doesn’t. One person wants to completely replicate the first wedding, but the other person just wants to get it over with.
It can be tough to know what to do in these cases, but anyone considering renewing their vows would be served well to think about just how important the actual experience is to them.
The two couples mentioned here had already made the decision of what they wanted and they had specific reasons for wanting them. If romance is important, then compromise needs to be had. If a certain number of guests being present is important, then this also needs to be discussed. In the case of guests this is crucial, because there can be couples who really wanted specific guests to come to their wedding the first time who just couldn’t make it.
The vow renewal ceremony would be the perfect chance for certain guests to get a second chance to experience what they didn’t get a chance to the first time.
Some couples might not be renewing vows, but simply getting married for the second time to someone else. It’s a second marriage in general. How can these people go about making things easier for themselves?
People who are on second marriages tend to not want a lot of glitz. Sometimes this is the case, but the second go around is usually geared towards simplicity. A lot of this is going to depend on the status of the other person involved. For example, Pete was a guy who was getting married for a second time after a bad first marriage. He wanted to keep things simple and easy.
His fiancée though was getting married for the very first time. She wanted to experience the whole thing the way she had always dreamed of as a little girl. Compromise was required in order to make things work. Had each of these people already experienced a first wedding to someone else and were taking another shot at marriage in general, then things would be much clearer.
Chances would be that both sides wanted a toned down affair that they could get through quickly and easily.
Anyone who is getting married for the second time, whether it’s to someone else or in the form of a vow renewal ceremony needs to think about just how important the more traditional and conventional aspects of the big day are to them. In the case of vow renewals these are about positive reinforcement and not so much about putting on a big show.
In the case of people who are on second marriages, whether it be one or both people in a couple, then the second go around tends to focus more on deep thought into the little things. Glitz and glamour can work just fine if both parties want it, but in many cases a more intimate and scaled down approach is desired.
This is usually due to wanting to keep costs low along with any anxieties that were a factor the first time around. Current financial position would also play a key role versus what things might have been in the past.